ARE YOU CLOSE TO A SCIENTOLOGIST? RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN!
Several year after leaving Scientology, I am still suffering from its effects. The most important part of my life was and is to give my children the best childhood. But now I am in a situation that cannot be fixed anymore. The damage is done. Day after day painful thoughts come back and capture my attention. It hurts to have seen all this.
My wife was willing to destroy everything and everyone. She even included herself.
To be on courses, to do Scientology, to gain powers that do not exist.
How to have a successful family? Why do a course for something that is right in front of you? Now, there is nothing left and she would really need such course.
She destroyed her and other lives thoroughly. In her view everybody was suppressive. Her parents, my parents, her relatives, my relatives, the government, the psychs, her BFF … just her cousin that she hated, she suddenly became her best friend.
After the divorce she quickly ran out of time and money. That means she cannot even do Scientology anymore – but the WAR was all about Scientology, wasn’t it?
Looking at the present situation would make her past actions terribly wrong. Still, she considers herself being a dedicated Scientologist. She is grasping at straws like many other Scientologists.
Forgiving her is tough. The destruction has been awful. My ex-wife is far away from awakening. With her “Fair Game” activities she crossed the threshold to hell.
This is an important part of cults. They make you do something really bad. The victim digs himself/herself a hole, too deep to leave. What a good strategy. You choose the sides and any confession would immediately kill you. Well, it is a metaphor, but this is pretty much how it works.
I guess Scientology added a positive entry into her ethics folder. They will suddenly see the entry differently as soon as she dares (if she ever does) to question the organisation.
How can anybody forgive anyone, who has not even come close to taking responsibility. And how can any cult member ever get there? You are blinded! Sweet lies are much easier to confront.
Will my wife ever be able to see again? And how should I react when she wakes up too late? I mean, it is quite easy to admit something after it has become obvious. Let’s say the cult is closing down. What is the value of penitence at that late stage?
When a robber runs away with all the cash, then there is some value of returning the money before he has been caught. But what is the value of returning the money after he has been caught and forced to give up?
This question is driving me nuts. I want to fix the family as much as I can. At the same time I know that I would have to accept further punches below the belt to do so. Is that greatness or that pure stupidity?
I have to fight against the devil, at the same time I cannot fight against the devil as I would destroy the ones I love most – my children. I finally understand Friedrich Schiller inside out. The hero has to suffer. His duties are more important. He decides against his desires.
But what are my duties? This question remains open. How can I fight the evil and not destroy myself at the same time?
I am the one who never needed any help or advice. I have always been ahead of others. My past success stories were outstanding. Then I came across my wife, who would not dare to “inform herself honestly” and rather destroy the family.
This time I have no clue. This was not part of any calculation. This was not forseeable. This was pure insanity. Treason! I was stabbed into my back.
Now, I do need help to go through all this. But I cannot imagine anyone being able to rewind the time. And even if anybody could rewind the time … I guess I would do a lot pretty much the same way again. Hence, it seems to be my fortune.
Schiller, I finally understand.