Some of my blog readers know the devastating details of the previous two years. I am very sorry for not revealing all details. Most of them are far more disturbing than what you have read so far. It is not just about telling the full truth, but also about remaining safe in such an insane scenario.
When I google for my real name the word “Scientology” is suggested while I am still typing. ‘Guilt by association’ will most likely haunt me for the rest of my life. Even though it is highly upsetting I do understand why others apply this general rule. Surely I would like to see a clear differentiation between Scientology warriors and Scientology protesters.
Besides my losses I would like to tell you about my wins of leaving the cult. It was by far the better option even though it included losing my job, being harassed and being the subject of colorful litigation.
The most important win has to do with my children. I was fighting for them in court and paid a fortune to the most expensive lawyers. Sometimes you have to lose something or someone to understand the true and full value. In hindsight the cult’s Fair Game tactics have improved my relationship. We are spending time together like never before. All my money that was spent in the cult now flows into their direction. That is an awful lot of money. Music, art, posh holidays, big parties, education and many other things.
I was stingy – I always had the unaffordable OT goal for the entire family in mind. But now I spend money at such a speed that it may look like pure waste. Still, I earn three times more than I can spend for my lavish life.
On top of that I got a big salary rise some weeks ago. This came entirely unexpected. In the end I can call myself a lucky devil for having lost my last job. Who had thought that the Fair Game would end like this? Definitely not me! This period of harassment has been the worst time of my life.
You can see that my blogging activity is not as regular as it should be. The reason is that the targets and demands at work are really high. This makes my job very safe. I do have other blogs as well. They are not anonymous. I realized that success is all about PR. So I keep the blogs running. But how can I solve the time issue? Well, I hired someone else to do it.
I regularly read stories on the internet. Who is not following Tony Ortega’s or Mike Rinder’s page? The downfall of the cult keeps me happy each and every day. It gives me inner satisfaction.
Five years ago I was carrying this strange feeling of injustice inside me. The cult rules were causing me discomfort. I could never be sure if something entirely normal would suddenly become an ‘overt’ (a suppressive act). I knew that reasoning was definitely not the same inside Scientology. Every little thing that would disadvantage the 3rd dynamic would have to be paid with intensives or courses somehow. Let me give the baby a name. It is called “fear”.
I can now think freely and discuss my opinions. Well, there are still some rules, but I don’t mind these. Nobody can get in trouble for my thoughts. Nobody writes any knowledge report. I can trust people around me. They are the most ethical beings of the universe compared to Scientologists.
Since months I do have real friends. I know that these friends will not leave me just because someone else is ordering it. They help me and listen to my problems without writing down an ethics battle plan, knowledge report or repair list. Their help is for free – yes it is!
I got rid of forced communication. I can pick up my phone and talk to lovely people. They don’t call me five times to ask me the same questions over and over again. They do listen to my decisions and they don’t tell me about “secrets”, which I can only hear about on events. In fact there has been no event, no IAS and no regging since I left for good.
Sex has gotten 10x better. My ex was always asking for a touch assist. How sexy! Was this the top of imaginations? Scientology was no fun! Scientology ethics corrects everything. Then you have to feel bad like a pervert. A case supervisor quickly adds some arbitrary intensives. What for? For further revelations to untrustworthy people? The cult is so perverted that you have to pay money to tell them stories they will most likely use against you.
There is only one type of ethics left. And that is my personal ethics. What I consider being correct is correct according to my consideration. I don’t have to justify any purpose, intention or wording.
I can buy newspapers that I want to read. Nobody tells me that this is not ethical. I surf on the internet and I google for David Miscavige’s withholds. This is my right to inform myself honestly. Nobody tries to stop me.
I am a free